Lost in Las Vegas

They say, “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”. I wish I could tell you tales of stolen tigers, regretful face tattoos, shotgun weddings at The Little White Chapel complete with a disposable camera that holds all evidence but, alas. It seems for the most part Vegas was a bust for me, and therefore what happened in Vegas can stay in Vegas!

 View Video of LA here   

 View Photos of LA here 

However, there were a few highlights that are worth mentioning. Some things I’ll take with me as either great entertainment or a great travel story (which could have ended with my unfortunate demise had I been cast as the lead in a major motion film set in the Vegas dessert with mutants and Australian serial killers) and some things I’ll let fade away into the dust and heat of the Vegas strip.

I’m of the solid opinion that Vegas isn’t somewhere you go alone, and certainly not while healing from a devasting marriage breakdown. But at the very least I can now say I’ve been to Vegas!

KATY PERRY

First fun off the rank was Katy Perry in her residency. I managed to make it for her final show. Full of colour, fun and quirk it’s no surprise that Perry Playland delivered. Rocking my large pineapple earrings, pink kicks, and a hot pink lip I did my best at trying to blend in. Highlights from the show included the set depicting Katy as a doll – with super-sized toys, chairs, and toilets, as well as a larger-than-life poop that she grooved with. She certainly didn’t disappoint, and it lifted my spirits unexpectedly as I discovered I know more KP songs than I realised, and some have become my new favourites. There was a surprise proposal thrown in for good measure (something that I definitely didn’t need to see, but truthfully, I still shed a happy tear or two for the special couple) and a “catwalk off” with a young boy in his hot red, high heeled, cowboy boots; who proved from his diva moves and sassy stage presence that he’s destined to be a star! A fun night all around, but I was glad to get back into bed at the end of the night.

RU PAUL'S LIVE

Something that I’m so glad I got myself to was Ru Paul’s! Not quite the real thing but likely as close as I could get to the real thing, especially when it was featuring some of my favourite stars of Ru Paul’s seasons gone ‘bi’ (boom-boom-ching!). While I already knew the following, I feel it is important to state that I was quickly discovering that the dehumanisation and suppression of our LGBTQIA+ community in the US is controlled by a minority of people in power (it seems to be the trend for several human rights and equality issues that are currently being compromised in the US. We know this, we feel it - even on Aussie shores) as there is a true sense of freedom for self-expression and, importantly, an immense amount of support to do so – even within the US. While it’s true that Vegas could be viewed as a haven for artists and performers, you are still in America. Yet, where people have a platform to use their voice they do so triumphantly and proudly.

I’m proud to “be” the B in LGBTQIA+ and with Ru Paul’s being one of my favourites shows it was special to cheer on these absolute queens in their element. Yes, there is bitchy drama on the show – of course, it’s television - but it truly is incredible to strip that away and to see people expressing their art, within a domain that is the highest tier of recognition you can achieve for this artform. Their visions and the way they see the world and move through the world on a stage full of colour and glam, with a sold-out audience backing their every move… it’s important, it’s necessary and it’s inspiring.

I will continue to support this community of mine, and every single individual within it, and I hope that in time (hopefully sooner than what the current reality dictates) every single guy, girl and in-between can also feel like queens – LET’S GO!

ABSINTHE

Where can I start with this show… I’m unsure how to really explain Absinthe. It was rude, it was spectacular, it was artistic, it was athletic, it was hilarious, beautiful, inspiring, sexy, sensual, and downright pure entertainment. I can see I’m mimicking Lady Gaga’s viral video (insert link) so I will stop there. I also don’t want to give any spoiler’s away for this one. So, all I’ll say is it is the hardest I’ve laughed like that in a long time, and if you EVER get an opportunity to see this show – DO IT. Spend the extra $$ on front row (you won’t regret it) and make sure you get yourself a few Absinthe drinks to down while you watch. INCREDIBLE!

CIRQUE DU SOLEIL - "O"

Absinthe ran over time, which is always fun, but not when you’re on a time crunch; and certainly not when you’ve also consumed Absinthe itself! I ran as fast as I could from Absinthe to Cirque. I was at the start of my travels, not yet experienced in daily long hikes and carrying about 20burgers in my legs and 3 strong absinthe drinks in my belly… it was exhausting. But nevertheless, I made it to the show – just – missing the first 15mins.

I sat down and the absinthe immediately hit. I would have panicked, but suddenly, I laughed to myself as I realised, I was smack bang in the middle of the scene from “Knocked Up” where Paul Rudd and Seth Rogan take ‘shrooms in Vegas and treat themselves to a Cirque du Soliel show. The drunk feeling came and went in waves while I watched the performers throw themselves round from the various apparatus’ and flying into the watery stage (making you wonder how much water was truly on that stage). It was pretty crazy!

As I started to regulate again, I was able to immerse myself fully and the one person who came to mind while I watched, was one of my best mates, Brian. A circus performer, MC, star of warrior show, Guinness World Records judge and one of the best people I’ve ever met in this world. I met Brian when he came to the shores of Australia to visit his then girlfriend (now WIFE!); my darling bestie, Brooke. I remember with perfectly clarity the first time I spoke to Brian. He wasn’t in Australia, but Brooke was visiting (the first time we were seeing each other after a long while, and I feel where our friendship truly solidified itself as one for life… if we could strengthen our friendship while she was oceans away with only an email every now and then, I knew this girl was a keeper. And she is.) and they were wrapping up a zoom call. It was short and sweet but set the tone for the years ahead of us.

Once Brian made the permanent move to Australia, I was one of the first friends in Brooke’s world to meet him in person (at one of my classic house parties… meaning it’s highly likely that I welcomed him in a way that likely set expectations of me WAY too high…) and I’m beyond lucky to have someone like him in my life. He is calm and generous; gives amazing hugs and really makes you feel seen as he is always fully present and gives his full focus to you whenever you’re lucky enough to catch up on what’s been going on in life. He also happens to be the person who not only makes me feel this way but has also validated me so beautifully, in a way I didn’t even know I needed. I could do nothing else but humbly accept how he sees me and how he feels others see me. It bought me to tears when the words were first spoken – well technically it was written but spoken works nicer for the narrative – and it bought me to tears.

I’ve expressed to him how I feel about this, but it’s something I remind myself of regularly when I’m feeling down or when someone has made me feel less than. It’s a core memory for me that I get to access whenever I need for the rest of my life, and I’m so incredibly thankful for this human.

Oh, and yes – Cirque du Soliel was awesome!

HOOVER... DAMN!

Vegas wouldn’t be complete without a trip to the Grand Canyon, and I had planned the visit with a full day drive in mind with stops along the way to Hoover Dam and some of the cool ghost towns, topping it off with an overnight stay to compensate for a long-haul drive back to the strip. I managed to get the hire car and quickly acclimatise myself to driving on the wrong side of the car and the wrong side of the road (righty tighty, lefty loosey).

As I approached Hoover Dam, I was mostly impressed with the massive bridge that is built overhead, and the heat was already getting to me. A quick look around and it was time for lunch, where I grabbed a sub-standard salad from the kiosk on site.

I made my way back to the car ready for some excitement with the Grand C and ghost towns, started up the car and… brrmmmhhh.

I double checked I had the car in park and tried again. Brrrhhhmhmhmh…

“No, no no no… come on.” Brrrhhhmhmhmh, it persisted.

I quickly started to realise I likely wasn’t going anywhere… at least not without some help. Not the most disastrous thing to happen. But throw in mobile phone on airplane mode because I decided not to purchase international sims, a day as hot as Satan’s balls in the middle of summer, and a solid 1hour drive away from any form of car assistance… it wasn’t good.

This became the first of many hire care debacles I have experience throughout my trip, and I did eventually – 5 hours later – get back on the road. However, I wasn’t going to risk the shit box breaking down again in the middle of the Arizona desert, so it was straight back to the strip, with a quick and risky stop for the Vegas sign (Would the car start again? Should I leave it running while I wait in line?) and the shit box was returned to the crappy car hire company.

TURNING LEMONS TO LEMONADE TIP #190856720

A frustrating turn of events, but I managed to turn the night around by treating myself to a delish steak diner, ironically with one of THE BEST salad’s I’ve ever had in my life. I was already over burgers and fries, so this meal was an amazing change of pace, even if a little on the pricey side.

To top of my time in this CRAZY PARTY TOWN, which turned out to be a crazy idea at best, I stopped off at the Bellagio fountain to watch its watery splendour – which wasn’t too bad – and finally a little flutter on the pokies. Much to my surprise I won a solid amount! Close to $1k USD – I wasn’t complaining. That money is long gone, but it was a nice little reward for my efforts in this dusty city.

--

While I feel this blog is lacking in some emotion and is very factual for the most part… that’s where we leave Vegas – at least for now. Maybe I’ll return with friends sometime in the future, and maybe one day I’ll make it to the Grand Canyon!

Peace out Vegas!

View Video of LA here

View Photos of LA here